I have come from a place where i sometimes used to wonder why i was different from my siblings . We came from the same parents , but somehow we have grown up to become 3 different individuals but perhaps that was Gods plans . As a young girl , I was very attached to my dad and I am very proud to say that I still very much am there .
But above it all at a young age , because I was the only girl growing up with boys , there was always a sense of loneliness , like a hole waiting to be filled . At a tender age I realised that my parents were always arguing especially about us the kids and i believe it was their own inner happiness which was lacking that they could never understand each other as a couple . My quest for the divine started at the age of nine , when my dad made sure that we had spiritual upbringing . My brother and I were always taken to the temple and we had to do service in the kitchen where my dad guided us through . I must say that was the best thing he ever gave him. He gave me a relationship with the Divine Father , something which very much lacking in out world today
My sense of loneliness slowly began to fill up and I realised very much later that He was always there for me as my Father . Slowly that relationship turned into friendship. While the normal people of the world went about their childhood and adolescent with dating , saloon , pubing nd clubbing , i was very much at home diving into my books and at the same time having very internal conversations with him . My mum has always given others the impression that I am mad , which i have always taken it as a compliment . Bishop Desmond Tutu has always expressed that "Hell is the biggest compliment God gave us " , I see no reason why I should be upset with the things my mum says . I can only say that she has not gone down the spiritual path and i do hope that she does soon as her age is against her . But then again , that is beyond my capacity because the Lord has his own ways and he knows his kids better than I do .
I used to travel , backpacked to the downtrodden areas on the asian countries and i have learnt along my journey that God is always present here he is needed most . I remember a priest who was sent to death camp in the Nazi camp in Auswich , being asked when he was washing the toilets , "where is your God now", and the priest replied "Here , with me ". I used to read a lot but my reading was proven true when i travelled . During my travels in India , i always used to ask mysefl , how is it that when poverty is so abundant , people can still laugh and be merry ad yet in developed countries where resource have been so abundant , yet misery looms . The answers were always the same , God exist everywhere but he is more apparent where discrimination , poverty and the underpriviliage are .He was friend during those travels. While my mum used to be suspicious that I was always with a guy probably having good sex , I was just too busy wondering what God had in store for me.
I spent a good 14 years trying to figure out all the holy scriptures while my mum was trying hard to find me a husband . Those were the good years where the material desires were kept at bay and that what i was going to have for lunch didnt really matter . The days when i didnt care how to dress , the days when i could give away my belongings without any questions , the days when i could just be me .Prem .I was labeled a lot of things by the people who saw me from the outside but yet i was unperturbed because I knew who I was in the inside. My journey was worthwhile .
Scriptures are only scriptures if we dont practise what it says .But they come to life when you embrace them in your daily life . I want God to be my lover , someone who cares for me in ways that no man can .I now am very conscious of the way I look because no lover wants his loved ones to be bad dressers. lol
But above it all at a young age , because I was the only girl growing up with boys , there was always a sense of loneliness , like a hole waiting to be filled . At a tender age I realised that my parents were always arguing especially about us the kids and i believe it was their own inner happiness which was lacking that they could never understand each other as a couple . My quest for the divine started at the age of nine , when my dad made sure that we had spiritual upbringing . My brother and I were always taken to the temple and we had to do service in the kitchen where my dad guided us through . I must say that was the best thing he ever gave him. He gave me a relationship with the Divine Father , something which very much lacking in out world today
My sense of loneliness slowly began to fill up and I realised very much later that He was always there for me as my Father . Slowly that relationship turned into friendship. While the normal people of the world went about their childhood and adolescent with dating , saloon , pubing nd clubbing , i was very much at home diving into my books and at the same time having very internal conversations with him . My mum has always given others the impression that I am mad , which i have always taken it as a compliment . Bishop Desmond Tutu has always expressed that "Hell is the biggest compliment God gave us " , I see no reason why I should be upset with the things my mum says . I can only say that she has not gone down the spiritual path and i do hope that she does soon as her age is against her . But then again , that is beyond my capacity because the Lord has his own ways and he knows his kids better than I do .
I used to travel , backpacked to the downtrodden areas on the asian countries and i have learnt along my journey that God is always present here he is needed most . I remember a priest who was sent to death camp in the Nazi camp in Auswich , being asked when he was washing the toilets , "where is your God now", and the priest replied "Here , with me ". I used to read a lot but my reading was proven true when i travelled . During my travels in India , i always used to ask mysefl , how is it that when poverty is so abundant , people can still laugh and be merry ad yet in developed countries where resource have been so abundant , yet misery looms . The answers were always the same , God exist everywhere but he is more apparent where discrimination , poverty and the underpriviliage are .He was friend during those travels. While my mum used to be suspicious that I was always with a guy probably having good sex , I was just too busy wondering what God had in store for me.
I spent a good 14 years trying to figure out all the holy scriptures while my mum was trying hard to find me a husband . Those were the good years where the material desires were kept at bay and that what i was going to have for lunch didnt really matter . The days when i didnt care how to dress , the days when i could give away my belongings without any questions , the days when i could just be me .Prem .I was labeled a lot of things by the people who saw me from the outside but yet i was unperturbed because I knew who I was in the inside. My journey was worthwhile .
Scriptures are only scriptures if we dont practise what it says .But they come to life when you embrace them in your daily life . I want God to be my lover , someone who cares for me in ways that no man can .I now am very conscious of the way I look because no lover wants his loved ones to be bad dressers. lol
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