Love

Divine Love is when

1.I accept the thorns that comes with the rose

2.I understand that the universe does not owe me anything . Only I owe it .

3.I accept the flaws of others without complaining or grumbling .

4.I can give everything up today and yet not worry about tomorrow .

5.I can see someone who i know will hurt me and yet make an effort to respect him .

6.I say thank you for all the pain I am given

7.I say sorry even though i know its not my fault but saying it would calm someone down

8.I am willing to share what I have without conditions attached to that sharing

9.I can sit with someone who I dont know and listen to what they have to say

10.I am able to allow myself to fall just to hear what Divine Father has to say .

Saturday

For most this would be an ordinary day . For me , it is a day where i have surrendered myself to the universe and God . A day when they decide what i should be doing . A day when i am just me . A day when i dont think and just go with the flow . Its a day of solitude where my ears are wide open and mouth is kept shut . A day when the universe speaks and I listen.

My spiritual journey has trained me to go into this mode , perhaps it was a way of finding myself and or perhaps it was the universe way to tell me that i am not just me but a part of the universe and that i have a place in it .

There are days when going into solitude is not easy especially when i am very receptive to my surroundings during the week and emotionally i am upset .

Its a day when i reflect on my duties and the code of my existence .Its a beautiful day

Determination

As i explain the chapter on capital budgeting to my 57 year old student , Halimah , I cant help but be amazed of how at this age after having grown up children , she is still struggling to do capital budgeting . She is due to sit for the ICSA exams in November and this paper apparently has been her biggest obstacle.

Why does she even bother to do what she is doing ? It beats me but i do admire her determination . She is not the only one I have come across. I have had many adult students who struggled with accounting . She is by far , the oldest and the most determined . Quite frankly , even being an accountant for so many years , I myself struggle with capital budgeting.

I am actually amazed at how the society has evolved , the younger generation wake sup at 10 and dont go to work and the elder ones never stops working .My dad who is my pillar in life got his lorry license at the age of 63 after making 5 attempts in the exams . I admire him because after coming out of the exam hall , he goes straight to register for the next exams because he was very sure he failed . Well he did fail , but after 5 attempts , the department decided to award him with the license probably looking at how determined he was to obtain the license. He is now driving a 1 ton lorry carrying scrap and animal feed .

Perhaps thats the reason , i too have this hard driven blood in me and push myself right up to the wall.

Thats GOD

http://www.passionup.com/mp/blank/blank100.htm?e=imkld@yahoo.com&f=imkld@yahoo.com&cfp=1&h=7a49f7e8064d5e26&mp=1

Forgiveness

I was always asked by my cousin sister Malindar , how is it that I was able to forgive people so easily after the mental torture they put me through . Honestly i could never answer this question until today , but I believe if you love yourself and are convinced that the universe is always doing its best for you and not against you , something deep within will always come up to rescue you from an unpleasant situation . It will not work towards your wants but it will definitely take care of your needs.

I have always followed the life of the previous Pope , John Paul as he has always fascinated me with his writing which happen to be in Italian and I always have hair pulling days to translate them .But nevertheless being a pope for 28 years , he tried his best to make the world a better place. Somehow deep down , perhaps he agreed to abortion (otherwise kids go on the streets unwanted ) but he had a role to fit in in the Vatican City . Anyway that's only my perception and not the actual truth .

The Pope was shot by a Muslim and was near death but eventually he went to forgive the man in the prison after he recovered.That is what I call Divine Love .It was this situation which prompted me to understand that we are only human . We all have roles to play on the stage that we are on .

I was almost raped during my backpack to India (I pray that my parents are not reading this otherwise , I will ever get a chance to backpack) by someone i knew fairly well. At that point in my life , when the man was on me , all i could do was cry . Struggling with a man who was 6 feet tall served no purpose .Perhaps it was my tears which stopped him , i do not know but i knew at that point of time , as a lady , I had to be stronger than a man in any given situation .I forgave him not because I was not angry . I forgave him because I wanted him to realise that what he did was wrong and that he was only human . Maybe it was the way I spoke , maybe it was the way I laughed which enticed him when i was around him .Perhaps it was my understanding of the physical nature of a man brought me down to forgiveness . I wanted myself to understand that I had a part in that action and that men were easily aroused . Had I not done that , i wouldn't have learnt how my behaviour affected the people around . I forgave him because I wanted myself to learn .

Forgiveness is a choice within all of us .It has nothing to do with anyone around us . It is all about us deep within . God may have carved our destinies but the choice of forgiving is entirely ours.

http://http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/popup-frame.html

Money

Dear God

Money seem to the the word of the universe sitting next to sex and capitalism .The world seem to revolve around it .Without it , the people of the world seem lost and without directions . It is sad that you are very far from their minds.

The world has come to a stage where fraud is the best business. The irony of it is that when the word fraud is mentioned , we only look at the bigger amount of money being transacted . Sad but true is the fact that every cent which is mistrusted or taken without permission falls under the definition of fraud .The trend of stealing valuable resources like petrol and electricity or phone lines falls under fraud .But somehow , the world has come to a stage that small items are considered trivial and part and parcel of the world .

Thank you God because from young I have been taught that Money is treated as Goddess Laxmi in the Hindu mythology and Goddess Laxmi has to be respected . She only stays if we share our wealth . In the epics , Laxmi is married to Narayana , a demigod who is so generous that he gives away and shares what he has to the rest of the world. Laxmi only stays where Narayana is . Without Narayana, Laxmi will eventually leave . Likewise , what we have is to be shared with the rest of the world for money is something that has to change hands .

The people of the world dont understand that the universe itself is the best accountant . Any disrespect towards money in any form will have to be repaid in some other form . The balance sheet will always balance at the end of the day .

Respect - The world is not made for me alone

I found someone trying to snoop into my profile today and not that it was private . If I wanted it to be private , I would have clearly made an attempt to hide it but I did not . But it is sad to know that most of us have it in us to look into others rather than to look into ourselves . I have personally put one of my blogs into a private mode and requested the person intending to read a password and if you are not given a password , it clearly indicates that you are not meant to read it . Coming back to me with a question of why? would only reflect who you are .

What we do , what we say is a reflection of who we are , who are associations are and above all what our focus in life is . Life is about respecting a person's privacy even though its wide open in the air .

Respect is not about me , its not about my profile , its not about age , it goes beyond those boundaries , it goes deep within oneself to give the other person a space in this universe which is entirely his or hers to do what she wants . My friend Samantha Yeap puts it so well in her blog that "The world is not made for me alone".I embrace and I respect that .

Solitude

Dear God

As i watch the river , my mind wanders looking out for you . To know you is to love you ,to love you is to find you and to find you is to seek you. Solitude is something i have learnt to practise over the years . Perhaps it was my internal self which was ready to search for the you. Perhaps it was my introduction to Buddhism by you which led me here today . The word perhaps does not justify what you have done for me , I know that you have led me here .

I have put aside Friday and Saturday for you . It is a time that i have asked all my senses to just focus on you and you alone . My eyes are only seeking you . My ears waiting for your whispers , my touch waiting to feel you .It is a day where i only want you and only you . My journey has been long and winding . Not an easy one mind you . But i know that each obstacle presented was for a purpose and for a reason , for without it , I would not appreciate you as much .

Please help me to control all my senses just to know you for I find myself running around in helpless mode , talking without thinking ,hurting without knowing , praying without embracing ,doing without understanding. I dont want to spend the rest of my years waiting to know you . I want to know you now. I want to be with you now. I want to talk about you now . I want to hear you now. I want to love you now .

The Purple Apple - A Tribute

Dear God .

In the journey towards you , i have met so many of your angels, they came in all forms and shapes and sizes . Today I would like to pay a special tribute to my cousin John who came to my life in my early twenties . While my dad emphasized in attaining knowledge through books from the age of 5 , John showed be a totally new world . He introduced into seeing things with a different eye . It took me sometime to understand what he was trying to get at , but eventually i did get it .

He made me realise that sometimes we look but we dont see . He was the first to introduce meditation to me and introduced me to all his friends , all at very different levels . He made me colour a picture of the apple , purple because he wanted me to understand that life is not what it perceives to be . The apple , universally on an external level can be red , but if I choose it to be purple , so be it .

I used to spent time in the office colouring pictures in colouring books which helped to developed the right brain . I guess my right brain in there for a purpose . I have never been artistically inclined , never have appreciated art , never wrote poetry but this exercise helped me in opening up new horizons .

My work with the autistic children improved tremendously because i was able to see what they saw . Sometimes when parents complain , its not that they didnt love the children , its just that they are not able to see nor comprehend what their kids see. Most parents are not aware that most autistic see through the right brain and not the left. The logical brain is always thinking , the creative brain is always painting pictures .

This achievement solely goes back to my cousin John . He died in his sleep . Something which i could not accept because it was a big loss. He was my cousin , my friend and my mentor .He will remain as my Purple Apple.

Perceptions 8 Assumption - pure waste of time

Dear God

I wrote a blog today about love making . Of late I have been called a lesbian , soon a mother hen . Not that anything is wrong with those terms . I respect the lesbian community , for they are who they are , but I also do realise that in life , we make a lot of assumption of who we think people are . I am not a lesbian , I am very glad of who I am , a lady with very high integrity and I consider myself a woman of substance . But I also do realise that I have it within me to make assumptions of other people and I think its a bad habit which i should never have .

Help me understand myself just as I hope to understand others.First of all I should never have perception of others or make assumptions about them unless i really truly understand them . Therefore I would like to conclude today that perception and assumptions are merely a waste of the universe's time

God - My Friend , My Father , My Lover

I have come from a place where i sometimes used to wonder why i was different from my siblings . We came from the same parents , but somehow we have grown up to become 3 different individuals but perhaps that was Gods plans . As a young girl , I was very attached to my dad and I am very proud to say that I still very much am there .

But above it all at a young age , because I was the only girl growing up with boys , there was always a sense of loneliness , like a hole waiting to be filled . At a tender age I realised that my parents were always arguing especially about us the kids and i believe it was their own inner happiness which was lacking that they could never understand each other as a couple . My quest for the divine started at the age of nine , when my dad made sure that we had spiritual upbringing . My brother and I were always taken to the temple and we had to do service in the kitchen where my dad guided us through . I must say that was the best thing he ever gave him. He gave me a relationship with the Divine Father , something which very much lacking in out world today

My sense of loneliness slowly began to fill up and I realised very much later that He was always there for me as my Father . Slowly that relationship turned into friendship. While the normal people of the world went about their childhood and adolescent with dating , saloon , pubing nd clubbing , i was very much at home diving into my books and at the same time having very internal conversations with him . My mum has always given others the impression that I am mad , which i have always taken it as a compliment . Bishop Desmond Tutu has always expressed that "Hell is the biggest compliment God gave us " , I see no reason why I should be upset with the things my mum says . I can only say that she has not gone down the spiritual path and i do hope that she does soon as her age is against her . But then again , that is beyond my capacity because the Lord has his own ways and he knows his kids better than I do .

I used to travel , backpacked to the downtrodden areas on the asian countries and i have learnt along my journey that God is always present here he is needed most . I remember a priest who was sent to death camp in the Nazi camp in Auswich , being asked when he was washing the toilets , "where is your God now", and the priest replied "Here , with me ". I used to read a lot but my reading was proven true when i travelled . During my travels in India , i always used to ask mysefl , how is it that when poverty is so abundant , people can still laugh and be merry ad yet in developed countries where resource have been so abundant , yet misery looms . The answers were always the same , God exist everywhere but he is more apparent where discrimination , poverty and the underpriviliage are .He was friend during those travels. While my mum used to be suspicious that I was always with a guy probably having good sex , I was just too busy wondering what God had in store for me.

I spent a good 14 years trying to figure out all the holy scriptures while my mum was trying hard to find me a husband . Those were the good years where the material desires were kept at bay and that what i was going to have for lunch didnt really matter . The days when i didnt care how to dress , the days when i could give away my belongings without any questions , the days when i could just be me .Prem .I was labeled a lot of things by the people who saw me from the outside but yet i was unperturbed because I knew who I was in the inside. My journey was worthwhile .

Scriptures are only scriptures if we dont practise what it says .But they come to life when you embrace them in your daily life . I want God to be my lover , someone who cares for me in ways that no man can .I now am very conscious of the way I look because no lover wants his loved ones to be bad dressers. lol

Why i needed this blog

I find that all of us need an outlet to express in life and perhaps mine was always in the mode of talking , travelling or writing . In a world where information is so readily available , i think that most of us are so looking into others that we find it unnecessary to look into our inner self. I went to the facebook website to get all my friends together , the ones from my school days the ones from my university and the ones i have met along the journey throught these 38 years of my life . However i found that my intentions expanded to creating support groups and perhaps allow each other to express their views. As much i respect the asian culture , I find that the asian culture is not as expressive as we expect them to be . We can talk about our achievements , we can talk about what we have and we have achieved but we can never expressed our the soulful experience that we have undergone . Perhaps it is also because most of us have not gone down or in some instances refuse to go down the spiritual path .

All of us are made differently and I have to respect everyone as such . Perhaps my journey with facebook was not so successful in bringing support groups together and i also have to keep in mind that not all of us undergo same issues and bringing people in to speak openly is dificult . I will still keep trying but I realise that I needed the Divine Father's help in achieving my intentions .Hence this blog came about where i can express mysefl as though i am talking to God . The universe works in many ways which we may sometimes not able to comprehend but i have always been taught that the universe rewards effort and this is my effort to speak to my Father .